Checkerboard
by xbechloex
Summary: Black. Grey. White. These colours rule our lives. No one knows what the other ones look like except the Lucky Ones- the ones who have found the magic, the ones who have found their soulmate. Have I found mine? Am I just imagining things? Well, all I know is those beautiful, peircing eyes are most definitely the epitome of every fact I have ever learned about the colour blue.
1. Why?

Black. White. Grey.

These three neutral colours seem boring, plain, dull, to say the very least. The scheme limits the variety of beauty and blinds an individual to the unique qualities other shades enhance.

Obvious negative impacts to neutrals.

At least that's what they say, the Lucky Ones. They go off on tangents about how 'life has changed so much', how 'they're so happy with the future', and how much more 'deliciously fabulous makeup is'. Okay, so maybe that last one isn't _everyone_. More like one of my closest friends: Stacie Conrad. Thankfully, I have Fat Amy to shut her up, conquering the conversations with her jokes and hilarious anecdotes.

What no one ever mentions, though, is how much you are used to it, the grey, the black, and the white. No one seems to ever remember the 'before' once they've seen the 'after'. No one emphasizes the way one feels before the 'magic' happens.

So how does it feel?

It feels normal. Yes, normal. You don't know what this 'purple' looks like or how this 'yellow' glows in the sunlight, but you don't really think about that stuff. You see your normal, everyday shades of grey, black, and white, and you move on. The dull, unimportant, dreary qualities don't really affect you that horrendously, at least, that you know of. There's nothing to compare it to, really, so why would the average colour scheme of you life inflict sadness and poor health? Exactly. It wouldn't. Doesn't. The only thing that makes you feel bad and alone is the pure joy the Lucky Ones emanate. _They_ are the ones that make you feel depressed, like you're smaller than them. _They_ are the ones that make you feel insignificant and boring, not the colors you see everywhere. _They_ are the ones that emanate everything you wish you had, that ignite the envy within your veins that later fades into doubt and hopelessness.

Because why aren't you a Lucky One? Why haven't you been blessed with the 'magic'? Will you ever be one of them? Has your magic already been taken away? What did you do wrong?

Why haven't you found your soulmate?


	2. I Love This Colour On You

"Okay, B, how do I look?"

"Fan-tastic."

"Bec, come on, does this colour look great on me or _what_?" I look down at the grey dress my best friend wore. It was meant to be a rhetorical question, but I answer anyway.

"Yeah. Totally." Sarcasm is my best quality, I must say.

"Ugh, you're no help, you know that?"

"No, really, Stace, grey is fabulous on you."

"Shut up." She throws the nearest pillow at my face, a grey one with black designs on it. She says it's blue with darker blue designs, but I never understand what she means. That statement is usually followed by an exasperated sigh and her mumbling something about needing to find me a woman.

Yes, a women. It's not that I'm only attracted to them, no, I've been attracted to my fair share of males, but I just _know_ my soulmate is a she. It's weird, ya know? Like, I could want to have sex with plenty of dudes, but I just have this feeling, this _knowing_, that my soulmate is a woman. Does that make any sense?

"Actually, bae, it's pink. This is pink, and _these_," she points to her something-inch heels, "are _white_."

"I _know_ those are _white_. In case you forgot," _like everyone does_, "you see white, grey, and black before you find your soulmate."

"Yeah, yeah." she waves her hand dismissively, "But I'm rockin' this dress." She continues cockily, smirking. I roll my eyes.

"As always."

She's been getting ready for a date, actually, with _her_ soulmate, another woman. In fact, we became closer because she was the only one I found who understood the feeling I've always had about my soulmate. I haven't met the woman, yet, and, needless to say, I'm pretty surprised about it myself. I mean, my _best friend_ met her soulmate, and I haven't seen her? Wait, you know what? I'm going to ask her about that.

"Hey, Stace?"

"Hm?" she hums distractedly as she continues to check herself out in the mirror.

"How come I haven't met her?"

"Who?" she has a confused expression on her face. It _was_ a kind of random thing to bring up.

"Your soulmate- what's her name again? Audrey? Anna?"

"Aubrey, and, uh, that's a good question." She looks.. Nervous? "I guess we haven't thought about it?"

"You know that's not it." Stacie? Nervous about me meeting her soulmate? "Well, whatever. Point is, I want to meet her."

That simple statement lit a blinding smile on her face. No, wait. Mischievous. That smile is _definitely_ mischievous.

"_Well_," _Oh no_, "She _does_ have this beautiful best friend-"

"Stacie."

"_Becccaaaa._" she whines in protest. A silence consumed atmosphere: Stacie trying to silently convince me and me being stubborn as ever.

"…..How beautiful?" I'm not _conceding_, I'm just merely testing the waters. She smiles triumphantly.

"Drop dead gorgeous. Red hair, blue eyes, killer body, and a damn good tan."

"Oh? Wow….I don't know what any of that means."

"Not even 'killer body'?" I give her a pointed look, causing a smirk to adorn the taller woman's face. "So, what do you say?"

I twist my mouth to the side in contemplation. Pros? Meet a cute girl. Meet best friend's soulmate. Might meet my soulmate-noting that it would be _unlikely_. Cons? Said cute girl might _not_ be my soulmate. I could be incredibly awkward if it turns out she _was_ \- okay no, I _will_ be incredibly awkward. I could screw up my best friend's date. I could completely weird out possible soulmate. Okay, yeah, I guess cons outweigh the-

"Don't you dare overthink this, B. You will not screw up my date. It's with my _soulmate_, isn't it? Besides, it's not like it's our _first_ date or anything."

Shit, she's onto me. Okay, why not? Other than the fact that I will make a fool out of myself and probably pass out from awkardness, what else could go wrong? Okay, a lot of things but let's not worry about that. Badass Beca spits in worry's face. Badass Beca will rise against social anxiety. Badass Beca needs to stop talking in third person. God, Fat Amy is rubbing off on me.

"Fine." She squeals immediately in response, tackling me in a bear hug.

"No, stop. No, Stace, off." I try to pull her off me, "Okay, Stacie, losing blood circulation." Finally, I manage to pry her arms away from me.

"Ohmygod, this will be so great. We're going to go shopping and get you a dress and some rockin heels and-"

"Woah, woah, woah. Slow down. Who the fuck said anything about a _dress_?"

* * *

"This is stupid."

"You look _fine_, Bec."

"No, I _know_ I look fine. Especially because I talked you out of that stupid dress."

"It was a great dr-!"

"No, Stacie. No, it wasn't."

"Ugh, whatever."

"_Anyway_, it's the whole idea of this date. It's stupid. Why did I agree to this."

"Because-"

"Rhetorical question." Stacie huffs, rolling her eyes at me. "I do pull this off really well, though. The black brings the black out in my eyes."

"_Beca_. It's _velvet red_. And FYI, your eyes are actually like a steely-"

"Don't care." That was a lie. I have always wondered what colour my eyes were. The Lucky Ones always talk about eyes being the "window to one's soul". That's why it's rumoured to be the first colour you see, your soulmate's eyes. Every shade of that colour turns up everywhere, "lighting up your world with your new favourite colour".

Can you even have a favourite color? With all the "vibrant", "beautiful", "breathtaking" colours out there, how can someone even _consider_ a favourite?

"Okay, we're here."

Wait, what? I snap my head to the side to peak out the window. Yep, we're here. The most beautifully decorated building in all of Barden. The most popular club in all of Atlanta.

The best gay club in Georgia.

Shit.


End file.
